Poland it is then – maybe.

Poland it is then. At least I can now search the Web for the right tank. From history I seem to recall that the Polish Army believed that tanks could be defeated by cavalry; well that’s how they had shafted the Bolsheviks. Perhaps things have moved on a bit since then. Might need some thought. (You don’t have the equipment; EdZilla) Cheeky bugger!

The computer today; tomorrow, the instructions for the barbecue!

Guess who can now work the stupid new computer thingy? Correct. Enter Captain Fabulous! (Tell them the truth – you know – just for a change; EdZilla)  (I was going to, anyway; arch cow!)

The only downside is that I had to call on the services of EdZ, who blew in having just terrified our vicar by telling him how much she admired his sermons; and his wife’s cooking as well, no doubt. (I’m warning you! EdZ)

Chateau Insane

I had dropped off on her at Chateau Insane what I thought was a copy of ‘The Final Arbiter’, which I had brilliantly copied onto one of these wee things you stick up a computer’s arse; like a thermometer with attitude. (It’s called a ‘Memory Stick’! Edz) Only the wee bastard in question had memorised half of bugger all, divided by two. So, there I was, in mid-rant, when, cool as some several thousand cucumbers, she puts it in the hole, presses a couple of tits, then ‘drags’ the bloody icon across to the picture on the screen of the Memory Stick. I hate everybody! Again.

Not that she was patronising at all. No; really. Well; maybe just a wee bit. Cow! (Moo! EdZ) Then she got my E-mail to work. I forgot to tell her the number of hours I’d spent trying to get it to work; double cow! Then she had to go and e-mail my copy of the book to herself; so we won’t need the Memory Stick, will we? (Expletive deleted. EdZ) The last straw came when she offered to show me how to tie my shoelaces. I AM NOT A CHILD!

Man v Barbecue

Bucked (are you sure this is the right word? EdZ) by my victory over The Forces of Darkness I went out and bought a barbecue. Er; complete with, er, what would at first glance, appear to be a set of instructions for its assembly. (St. John’s Ambulance Service to standby; EdZ) I can hardly wait. (Can I have your blood group? EdZ)

John J McCabe; copyright